Artemis Fowl Hits America
by Harry Artemis Jackson
Summary: Artemis Fowl is sent to America while his mother recovers. While there, he involves one of his classmates in his scheme. Meanwhile, Holly Short is sent to watch the Mud Boy and is descovered. Takes place between books one and two.
1. Chapter 1: Big News

**A/N: Hi! This is my first fanfiction, so it probably won't be too good. This takes place between the first and second books. IMPORTANT! This probably won't be A/OC. Probably. Neither will it be A/H, as it takes place too early on. I know this is a cliché type of story, but unlike this most, it DOES have a bigger plot. PS: I hate my OC. She's not in this chapter, thank goodness.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Artemis Fowl, The Last Guardian would NOT be the last book. **

Chapter 1: Big News

For one of the first times in his life, Artemis Fowl was bored. At the moment, he had no evil schemes, no dastardly plots. He just sat there, staring at a blank computer screen.

But he was only bored for the moment, because just then, Angeline Fowl walked in. Butler quickly woke up at the noise.

"Mother, how many times have I told you that I wish that you would knock before entering my study? It is a respect of my privacy, you know," Artemis loudly complained, without looking up from his (still blank) computer screen.

"And I wish you would call me mum, not mother," responded Angeline. "Seeing as that will never happen…" Butler could hardly suppress a smile. Artemis, however, could hardly suppress a grimace.

"All right then. You have made your point. Now please explain while you so rudely interrupted me!" Artemis almost growled. Butler could only stare. Artemis was never what you would call a "kind" person. But he always used to be friendlier to his mother (and Butler) then to everyone else.

The truth was, things had been tense between Artemis and his mother after he had gotten the fairy, Holly Short, to heal his mother, who had become insane after Artemis Fowl Sr. had disappeared. To Butler, it seemed as if now that she was well, Artemis was able to blame her for everything that had happened over the last year and a half. But the fact that Artemis had turned to the evil side probably didn't help.

"Artemis this is serious. We really need to talk," Angeline's face was worried, and she looked stressed, like she had just made a hard decision. Which, little did Artemis know, that she had.

"Then please begin," he said. How Artemis hated the words coming out of his mouth. It was all right for him to treat other people this way, but his own mother? She didn't deserve this coldness, he knew in his heart, but he didn't care. Well, he didn't care enough to stop.

"Artemis," Angeline began, "You've always known that I would send you back to school. I believe that now would be a good time." Angeline hadn't made her son go to school right after she became (mostly) well. She had wanted to give him time to recover (which he hadn't needed.).

"Of course I knew Mother! Do you think me an imbecile? But I do so wish that you wouldn't. I know anything they would bother to teach me, and the professors are no where near as smart as I. Instead of wasting my time at school, I could be finding Father!"

Artemis had struck a sore point. Artemis Fowl I had gone missing almost two years ago when the Russian Mafia shot down his ship, the _Fowl Star_. Artemis refused to believe that his father was dead, as no body was ever found. But Angeline, however, had given up long ago. Her acceptance of his death was what eventually drove her insane, and what made Artemis parentless for a year and a half.

"Arty," Angeline said softly. "First of all, I don't send you to school for academics. You're right in that they won't teach you anything that you don't already know. You are a very bright boy, Arty. I send you to school for social reasons. We both know you aren't a very sociable person. Do you have any friends other then Juliet and Butler? I know for a fact that you don't, Arty.

"Secondly," Angeline continued in an even softer voice. "I think that it's time that you let your father go. He's gone, Arty, you have to accept that he's not coming back. Ever." Butler gawked at Angeline. He opened his mouth to say something, but then thought better of it.

"Oh, yes, accept and go insane like you did. I have to hold onto that hope. That's the only thing that keeps me going. Now, I highly doubt that you came barging in here to tell me that I am going back to school. As we already established, I knew that was coming. So, what is it then? Tell me already!" Artemis said, on the verge of tears. This was very unusual for him, considering, he normally showed no signs of emotions.

"Alright then!" Angeline began to sob. She took a moment to collect herself, and during that moment, Artemis silently scolded himself. He really was being too harsh to his poor mother. However, at this point, any sign of the tears that had once filled his eyes was now gone. Butler was glad of this, as the sight of his charge's tears was making him uncomfortable.

"Alright then," Angeline repeated. "I'm not sending you to St. Bartleby's just yet." She took a deep breath, and pushed a loose strand of Artemis' raven black hair off his forehead, getting her hand swatted away for her trouble. She looked directly into his icy blue eyes, eyes that were so much like his fathers. After doing this, Angeline regained her strength and was able to go on.

"I'm sending you to a state school in the United States of America tomorrow. It's in the state called Pennsylvania, and the school district is the Central County School District, and I've been told it can turn the most antisocial person (meaning you) into the most social person." Angeline said all of this in a rush.

"WHAT?" Artemis screamed, his normally very pale face going even paler. "What?" He shouted again. "A state school? America? As in across the Atlantic Ocean? What do you mean? How could you? Mother, do you not understand, I have already lost you once. I was lucky enough to get you back! I can't lose you again!" Artemis was so upset that he began speaking in incomplete sentences. Or then again, he seemed upset.

Butler had risen to his feet at this point." Madame Angeline, is it really wise to send your son away, to a different country, on a different continent, no less?" He placed his hand on his charge's shoulder.

"I know, I know!" Angeline sobbed. "But I can't have you stay here. You see, after my sudden recovery from my depression, I still wasn't completely well. I'm still not. I am starting therapy tomorrow, and they said it would be best not to have any children around. You know I'm still not over your father's dea-'' Artemis silenced her with a glare. "I mean _disappearance_. This is only a temporary measure, and I will send for you as soon as I'm well. I bought you a house in the district, which we will resell after you come back to Ireland. I've already had it stocked with everything that you need. Butler and Juliet will accompany you. And please don't try to change my mind, my decision is final." And with that, Angeline walked out of the room, sobbing hard.

Artemis quietly shut the door. Then a vampirish smile crossed his face, and he began to chuckle. Butler looked at him worriedly.

"Are you okay?" Butler asked in his gravelly tones.

"Yes, old friend, I am fine. No, I am not going insane. But I do have an idea." Artemis resumed his chuckling. You see, Artemis was not upset. Well, maybe just a little bit at the state school part. But for the most part, the child genius wasn't upset. No, without parents, it was much simpler to carry out his schemes undetected. Artemis stopped chuckling suddenly. "Butler, please do pack all of our bags. We've work to do" And with that, Artemis fell into his thinking meditation.

**A/N: Tell me what you think with a review or PM! Anonymous reviewers (people that don't have accounts) can review too. Make me happy and press the blue button. My first reviewer ever gets a virtual cookie!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Prank

**Chapter 2: The Prank**

**A/N: SO sorry for the long wait. I have been URBER busy lately. This is short. Sorry about that... You know, I have a few things to say. First of all, I would like to say thank you to anon for being my first ever reviewer. Secondly, I want to say sorry for my terrible grammar. I suck at that and think that this site should just give up and get spell check already! Lastly, and most importantly: My story has gotten almost 100 views! Yey! But, I only have 8 reviews. Why is that? I cherish reviews. They tell me what I need to change, their opinion on the story, and what I need to do in the future. Please hit the review button at the bottom of this page when you finish, okay?**

**Disclaimer: A middle aged man from Ireland owns Artemis Fowl, NOT a teenage American girl.**

Helen Short was 12 years old when she got thrown into a world she thought only existed in fairy tales. But if this was a fairy tale, then she was a main character. And, if this was a fairy tale, this one would not necessarily have a happy ending.

Short for her age, (she thought this ironic) with long, curly, auburn hair, strangely pointed ears, and hazel eyes, as well as her weird personality and short temper made her fit in with the majority of her friends. Helen was smart, but not genius smart. She was quite athletic.

She had a fairly large group of friends, more than could fit at her table, and not all of them were girls. She enjoyed school and loved learning new things. She was an obsessive book freak.

One day, Helen was sitting in homeroom, when her favorite teacher, Mr. Terupt, made an announcement. "Tomorrow we will be getting a new student. For some reason, they haven't told me his name. I do know that he's coming from Ireland, he's smart, and you don't want to mess with him. He will get his revenge. I know that sounds dark, and rather strange, but I'm just telling you what they told me. This confuses me. Oh! There's the bell! Off you go, see you later."

Later, Helen sat down with her lunch. She opened her lunch box, and groaned. "A tuna sandwich again? She knows that I hate tuna!" She saw a note in her box.

_Dear Helen,_

_I'm sorry about the tuna. As you know,_

_your brother is sick, and I had no_

_time to make you anything._

_So sorry._

_Love, Mom_

Her best friend Amy sat down next to her. "I can't believe I forgot my lunch at home and had to buy! Ugh, I hate PB&J!"

"Give me the trey, and take my lunch box. I love PB&J, and you love tuna." Helen demanded.

"K-K, Miss Bossy Pants. Why are you acting so weird?" Amy chuckled.

"Oh, Amy. I'm acting weird as you put it, because of THEM." Helen pointed over her shoulder to a table full of guys.

"Oh, who's bothering you today? Is it Ty? Or maybe Maxwell?" Amy asked, looking concerned. The boys' teasing could be harsh.

"It's the whole group of them today. Look at them smirking at us. You especially." It was true; they did seem to be focusing on Amy.

Helen had a huge crush on Cory, the leader of that table. It was strange enough that she actually liked him. Their personalities were way too similar.

Cory waved and smiled at her. Helen blushed and waved back, tossing her hair over her shoulder. Then she twirled a curl around her finger._ Geez. When did I become such a flirt?_ She asked herself.

Cory laughed and smiled at her. He held up a note and slid it across the floor at her. She opened it up.

_Want to go to the football game with me? Afterwards we can go see the new movie to celebrate not losing too badly. Check yes or no and slide back to me_, the note said.

Helen smiled at Cory, checked yes, and slid the notebook across the floor.

Amy laughed. "You flirt! Now, eat your sandwich and forget about the guys or lunch will be over before you even start it!"

Helen blushed, and then took a huge bite of her PB&J." Mr. Terupt told us we're getting a new student tomorrow. He's Irish, like Artemis Fowl. I finished _The Atlantis Complex_ last night. It was amazing! Wouldn't it be cool if Artemis Fowl II came to our school?"

"Wouldn't it be cool? Don't you mean wouldn't it be scary? Artemis is a cruel little soul that would rip your heart as soon as look at you! Hey, what's wrong?"

Helen had become pale, and her stomach was aching with spasms of pain. Suddenly it all made sense. The guys had put something in her food! Oh, this time they had gone too far.

Wait, that sandwich was made for Amy, not her! Well, they were going to have to deal with her, not gentle Amy.

She got up to go slug Ty, or maybe Maxwell in the arm. The guys paled when they realized how their plan had gone wrong. Helen got to the table, drew back her arm, and barfed. All over Cory! Cory grabbed her and said sweetly, "Let's get you to the nurse! You poor thing!" Well, at least he wasn't mad, Helen thought weakly.

**A/N: So what did you think? Please tell me in a review. I know there was no Arty. Sorry about that. You see him again next chapter. And I know this takes place before "The Atlantis Complex" but that is a part of the story that will be revealed later.**


	3. Chapter 3: The Unwanted Mission

**A/N: Hi again! I meant to post this Monday since for once I had nothing to do. Then I logged onto the computer to which this was saved and tried to open this. Tried. My stupid mouse stopped working! I was able to fix it Wednesday but it was really late by then and I only had time to revise this, not post it. Oh well. Okay, before you move onto the story, I have a few things to say. First of all, thank you to my one and only reviewer for this chapter. Yey for you! Secondly: just out of curiosity, how many of you reading this are guys? I have found that not many guys seem to be on here as girls. Just wondering. Lastly, there IS Arty in this chapter. There is Holly as well. I'm a little nervous about this as this is the first time I've tried her. I think that she is OOC. Yeah, sorry about that. Hopefully as the time goes on, I will get better at writing her. **

**Disclaimer: I own Artemis Fowl. And Harry Potter. And Percy Jackson. And… Wait. Darn, I'm not Eoin Colfer. Or J. K. Rowling. Or Rick Riordan. *mutters things unable to type here without losing their account.**

**Chapter 3: The Unwanted Mission**

Holly Short was fuming. Not that that was unusual for her. How could Root give her this job? She sighed. She walked into the Ops Booth to get her equipment. "Foaly, I need hard core stuff for this job. You know how dangerous this Mud Boy can be."

"You know Fowl isn't supposed to see you, right? This is just a surveillance mission." Foaly said, handing her a set of his newest design of wings, the Butterfly, and a Neutrino 2000 gun.

"Yes, but this is Artemis Fowl we're talking about. With him anything is possible." Holly shivered, thinking of the last time that she and Fowl had met.

"Good point. With him, everything follows Murphy's Law. For us at least, definitely not for him." Foaly snorted.

"Remind me, what's Murphy's Law?" Holly asked. "Some of us here are not geniuses, you know."

"Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Sound familiar?" Foaly asked.

"Oh yeah!" Holly said. "Now I really need to go, as much as I don't want to, I really do. Root will fire me. And I don't really need that on my plate right now. "

"Good luck", said Foaly. Holly walked through the doors without another word.

About an hour later, Holly arrived at Fowl Manor. She saw Artemis _**hug **_his mother. The Mud Woman was crying steadily. The Mud Boy just stood there with a stony look on his face. He and the Mud Mountain climbed into the car. Juliet started it, and they began to drive away.

Well, that wouldn't do, to lose her target so easily. Also, she kind of secretly wanted to know what was going on. She landed on the top of the car, almost silently. Emphasis on almost. She saw Artemis look up, out of the window. A thoughtful look crossed his face, and he pulled his head inside and left the window open.

Perfect. Holly slipped in the open window onto an empty seat so she could hear what they were saying. Artemis closed the window. D'Arvit, thought Holly.

Artemis began to speak. "Butler. May I ask you a question?"

Butler seemed perplexed. "Of course, Artemis."

Juliet said, "Ooh, is Arty going to ask a big question?"

Artemis glowered "This is none of your business, Juliet. I suggest you stop listening now." Juliet sighed, and began to hum to herself. "Now, Butler. Something is wrong. I don't feel like myself. I almost feel ill. Why would this be?"

Butler took a sharp intake of breath. "Artemis, why didn't you tell me sooner? Oh, Artemis… Could it be… you know, puberty?"

Artemis shook his head. "No. That is not it. The symptoms mimic those of a powerful form of cancer. I give myself about a week to live." Now, Holly might not have liked the child criminal sitting in front of her, but she was a humane person. She gasped. She couldn't help herself. No decent person would be able to.

Artemis began to laugh. "I knew that would work," he said. "Captain Short, show yourself." Holly reluctantly turned off her shield. "Good. Now we can talk. But first, we are getting on this plane." The car rolled to a stop. They all exited the car. For some reason she couldn't quite fathom, Holly climbed aboard the plane with them all.

"You were okay? That was all a guise to get me to unshield?" Holly began to vent once they were all seated and Artemis had taken off. He set the plane on auto pilot. He walked back to the passenger area and sat himself. Artemis nodded silently, a ghost of a smile still etched on his face at his guise. "Where are we going, anyway?" Holly asked. "Why am I coming too?"

"America." Artemis answered. "I-oof-"

. Artemis' face turned red, and he fell to the ground. He slowly climbed back up into his seat, panting. "What was that?" Holly asked.

"I know exactly what it was." Artemis groaned. "And I, I- um- I –I A-CHOOO! "

"Am I supposed to fall for that, too?" Holly asked angrily. But when it seemed that Artemis had fallen into a coughing attack immediately after his sneeze, Holly started to heal him; just enough to get him to stop coughing. Artemis's coughing slowly subsided.

"What is going on with you?" Holly asked. "Are you okay?" Artemis nodded.

"I really do have a cold," Artemis said with a wave of his hand as if it was no big deal. "But I am nowhere near as ill as I had said before. The collapsing to the ground incident, well that was because Juliet punched me in the neck!"

Juliet said, "Well, that's what you get for making me worry about you! I was really concerned, and it was a lie!"

"

Do that again and you are fired. I do not care if you are the closest thing I have to a friend besides Butler. I really mean it!" Artemis's voice was calm and collected, as always. "I asked you to stop listening in the first place, you know."

"

It's kinda hard not to listen when I'm in the same car as you, **YOU know**." Juliet said, mocking Artemis's tone.

"As true as that statement might be, you must do as I ask. Disobey me again and bad things will happen to you." Artemis glared at her.

"You know you never would do anything more than fire me, Arty. And even that is a stretch. So do I, so does Butler, and I bet Holly does too."

"Wait, how was I pulled into this?" Holly asked.

"Never mind that. But I do want to ask you something, Holly. You were sent to spy on me, were you not? If so, you did not do a very good job of it. You fell right into my trap."

"What trap? Are you planning on messing with the fairies again?" Holly was fuming yet again.

"No, nothing of the sort. You weren't even in my plans until you landed on the top of my car. I adjusted them. Now, I believe you are getting a call. From your commander, I presume? You better take this." Holly wandered out of her seat to the back of the jet, muttering all the way.

"Stinking Artemis Fowl can't let anything go how it's supposed to, can he?"

"Murphy's Law," chuckled Foaly, who was watching the whole thing through her camera feed.

**A/N: So, what do you think? Tell me in a review. Hopefully I'll get more than one this time. *goes off muttering angrily* What, I'm not insane! *picks up a banana and starts talking into it* Hi, Artemis love.**


	4. Chapter 4: The Deal

**A/N: I've been so busy lately, I'm sorry. This chapter is a little longer, though. And it has everything in it. Holly, Artemis, Root, Butler, Juliet, Helen, and even a bit of Foaly. Sorry, no Mulch though. I can't tell if I can fit him in this story or not. Be sure to read the note I have below the chapter. Oh, and I made a new forum. Be sure to check it out! It's called "All Things Artemis." Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: We would have movie progress if I was Eoin Colfer. *grrr***

**Chapter 4: The Deal**

**Over the Atlantic Ocean**

Holly opened up a com link on her helmet. Commander Root's angry, purple face filled her visor. "SHORT!" he yelled. Uh-oh, thought Holly. "What in the world were you thinking? How in the world did you let yourself get on an airplane with two dangerous Mud Men? Public Enemies 1 and 2, no less!"

"Commander, I can explain…" Holly began.

""I don't want to hear any of your shit, Captain. I doubt anything you say could make up for the inexcusable mistakes you have made today!" Holly hung her head ashamedly.

"I know I have made some mistakes. But please let me talk."

"You have 60 seconds, Short."

"Okay, well…" Root's face grew purpler. "The Mud Boy influenced me!" Her own face grew startled. That wasn't what she had meant to say at all. "He almost hypnotized me. I don't know what it is about those eyes, but they are hypnotic."

"That is not an expectable excuse. Short, you will be on Traffic for sure once you get back here. And I want you back here NOW!"

Holly risked a bit of sass. "In case you haven't noticed, I am on a plane, thousands of feet in the air. If I even tried, I would be sucked into the slipstream and crushed."

"Short, don't give me your D'Arviting excuses any longer. You are coming back to Police Plaza as soon as that plane touches the ground. And I don't see why you wouldn't, as you are with your KIDNAPPER!"

"Yes, sir," Holly sighed.

"Honestly, how did you manage to mess up a simple surveillance mission so badly? Oh, and now that Fowl knows that you're here; read him the statement Foaly is sending to you right now. Not another word, Short." Root terminated the com link.

Holly walked depresedly back towards the others. She opened up her messages. There was a new document. She opened it, and it filled her vision.

"Artemis Timothy Fowl. You are a danger to the People. Because of that, the LEP have classified you as a Level 10 Threat. But since you are a human, you are not governed by our laws. To make sure you aren't doing anything to harm the People in any way, the LEP will be sending an officer to check on you monthly. If you do not agree to these terms, we will have to use force," Holly read aloud. Her helmet would record his answer as a signature or a void to the contract she had just read.

"Why of course!" said Artemis with that vampire smile of his. "Under one condition." Holly braced herself for a hefty demand. "If Captain Short is the one to visit."

"Just accept it. We don't really have a choice at this point," said Foaly in Holly's ear.

"Okay, sure. Why not? What are you going to do, kidnap me?" Holly snorted.

No, nothing like that, thought Artemis. Just manipulate and use you until you think that you are my friend so you will do as I say.

**Bloomsburg Private Airport**

The Lear Jet rolled to a stop after Artemis safely landed it. A shiny new Bentley sat near the runway. No clearance was needed; they just hopped off the plane. Artemis climbed in the passenger seat and Butler climbed in the driver's seat. Juliet climbed into the backseat grumbling. "I'm older; I should be in the front."

"Are you coming with us, Captain?" Artemis asked.

"No, Root'll have my badge for sure if I don't get back," Holly responded.

"Alright then, I guess we will see you in a month, Captain Short. Our new address is 9 Kashner Road, Millville. Foaly can send you the coordinates, I am sure," Artemis said coolly.

"Bye," said Holly gruffly. She activated her Butterflies and soared off into the sky. Artemis watched her go.

"Aw, does Arty have a crush on the girly captain?" Juliet teased.

"No, I do not. Stop your foolishness. You are just upset that I am in the front seat and you are not, am I correct?"

"Grrrr. You got me." She placed her hand on his shoulder. "But I don't care."

Artemis wasn't sure what to do. His best friend his age was flirting with him! How do you react to that, especially if you're a socially challenged genius? Butler grinned. He knew that Juliet had taken to Artemis. But she liked him as a brother more than as a boyfriend. Artemis was just misinterpreting the signs.

Juliet finally realized Artemis's discomfort. "Sorry, just trying to help. And in case you're wondering, I DO NOT like you like that, Arty." Artemis felt himself untense.

Good, he thought. She was just being friendly. Why did you even think that? Do you want it? He dismissed his thoughts, brushing them off as just hormonal coincidence that his best friend (besides his bodyguard) was a girl. Stupid hormones. A little corner of his brain was saying to apologize to Juliet, and to apologize to Holly in advance. The girls in your life want you, the little irritating corner of his mind. Don't push away friends.

Twenty-five awkward minutes later, the Bentley pulled up to a new-looking house. Artemis climbed queasily out of the car. The country roads they had taken to get there were quite windy since they had to swerve to avoid the PA mountains. Artemis looked around. They were in a small group of houses, about 6 or 7 of them. He quickly counted. 6 houses. They were on a lot of land that took up the whole side of the road. 

The house itself was two stories high. It had a brick face and cream siding on the sides. A two car garage was attached to the house. It looked as if it had an attic. The land around the house was landscaped perfectly. A winding red brick sidewalk lead up to the cherry red front door.

Butler walked up to the house, put the key in the lock, and turned. It opened to revel a long hallway straight in front of the door, with rooms to both the right and left, and a staircase with a mahogany banister. Artemis quickly explored the house.

Downstairs there was a kitchen, a living room, a family room, a half bath, an office, and a laundry room. Upstairs there were four bedrooms and two bathrooms. He and Juliet would have to share. Attached to the kitchen was a screened-porch, which led to the backyard, which consisted of a pool, a soccer rebound, a jungle gym, and a small wood at the edge with hiking trails.

The garage did indeed have an attic, as he had suspected.

After his survey of the house, Artemis was quite tired. "I believe, Butler, that I shall retire to bed now. I do have school tomorrow, after all."

**Helen Short's House, Bloomsburg**

"Mom, I feel fine! I can go to school tomorrow!" Helen was arguing with her mother. She believed that even though she had to leave school early that day, she believed she would be well enough to go to school the next day. Her mother believed else wise.

"No, you most certainly cannot! You need a day to recover, Helen." Helen gave in with a sigh. What was the use? That is why Helen missed the strange new boy's arrival the next day.

**A/N: Okay, no matter what you think after reading this chapter, I am NOT an A/J shipper. Well, not most of the time, anyway. This is not and A/J story. I am an A/H shipper through and through. But Butler says something in book three that shows that Artemis does indeed have a crush on Juliet. Butler is explaining to Juliet why she can't be Artemis's bodyguard. His reasons: he knows your first name, and that he fancies her. By TOD, I think he is over it. But in TEC, it's there for sure. So who says it can't be there between the first two books? I'm just using the facts here. There will be moments with him like that around other girls, not just Juliet. Okay?**


	5. Chapter 5: Artemis's First Day

**A/N: Man, it's been a long time. This probably has lots of mistakes, since I wrote most of this at 10:30 PM. This probably sucks. I will fix it later, but I need to post this because it has been FOREVER! Um, harry p. fan, I know for a fact that you are my sister. I saw you typing it. And yeah, it seems like your house because it is our house described. Um, okay, what else. I don't know, maybe I'll think of something to put at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not this computer, not the music that is playing in the background (You Don't Know You're Beautiful by One Direction if you need to know) or Artemis Fowl & Co.**

**Chapter 5:**

**Artemis Fowl's House, USA**

Artemis awoke with a start. Where was he? He quickly remembered. My new house. "Artemis, time to wake up," Butler softly called. Artemis stumbled out of bed, blinking sleep from his eyes. He grabbed a suit from his closet and brought it with him to the bathroom. He quickly dressed, brushed his teeth, and gelled back his black hair.

He looked in the mirror. Perfect, he thought. I hope to make a lasting impression. Artemis wandered downstairs and walked slowly into the kitchen. There was an omelet sitting on the table, along with a warm apple-cinnamon muffin, freshly picked strawberries sprinkled with sugar, and a cup of Earl Grey tea. Artemis sat and quickly consumed the food.

"Excited for your first day of school?" asked Butler, as if they were a normal family.

"Yes. I hope to cause at least a little bit of mayhem," Artemis chuckled. At this time, Juliet wandered into the kitchen, wearing a lilac tank top, jean shorts, and flip-flops. Her curly blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She sat at the table and began scarfing down the food. Her glitter green eye makeup sparkled in the dim light.

"Why are you up so early?" inquired Artemis. "You have no where to go today."

"That's what you think, Arty," Juliet responded. "Your mother registered me for the high school. I'm now your older sister, Juliet Fowl. No offense, but I like being Juliet Butler better. Butler's now your father, Artemis Sr."

Artemis felt a lump in his throat. Apparently his mother had contacts too. Butler isn't my father, he thought. But he almost is. "Well, if you are coming, finish eating quickly, for we are leaving in five minutes." Artemis refused to let his surprise show.

"But I'm NOT coming with you," Juliet said. "I want to make a GOOD first impression, so I'll start right now on the bus."

"Fine then," Artemis said. "Let's go, Butler."

**Central County Middle School**

Artemis climbed out of the Bentley. The school building was a squat, one story building. Half of the school was done in a nice brick. The other half was done in white siding that pointed up-and-down and blue siding that pointed left-to-right. The high school across the street was done in brick, so Artemis (correctly) deduced that the siding was part of a recent addition. He found it looked rather silly and strange.

Artemis entered what appeared to be the main entrance, followed by his huge manservant. He was in a sort of antechamber type thing with a set of doors in front of him that led to the lobby. Artemis tried the door. It was locked. Feeling stupid, Artemis turned to his right. There was the office door. He pushed the buzzer by the door. "New student Artemis Fowl II had arrived," Artemis announced loudly.

"Come on in," said the secretary warmly through the speaker. Artemis walked through the door with an aura of power surrounding him. This aura was just increased by the gigantic mountain of a man behind him.

"This is my…c- son, Artemis." Butler caught himself before he finished the word "charge".

"I can introduce myself, Father," Artemis said, throwing Butler a brief glare.

"Hello! Welcome to our glorious school! I'm sure you'll absolutely LOVE it here! This is just such a great place for an education! I here you're a very studious boy!" said the secretary overly brightly.

"I am only here because I have to be. There are many things I would rather be doing, such as, oh, I don't know, recreating a Picasso," Artemis said.

"Oh, okay then. Are you artsy?" The secretary tried to keep the conversation alive.

"I am not artsy, so to say, but I am rather good at forging paintings. For personal profit, of course."

The secretary's smile dimmed a couple of watts. "Alrightie then. You are a big kidder. Well, here's your schedule, and a map of the school. Oh, and because of your IQ, we have you scheduled to take the Enrichment test during the minicourse block today, after which you'll chose your minicourses for the year. Have a good day!"

Artemis nodded at her. "You may leave, Father." Butler placed his hand on Artemis's shoulder. "Wait," Artemis said. "I have a better idea. Walk me to class."

Artemis had enjoyed scaring the secretary. Normally he wouldn't have acted quite like that, but he wanted to create a certain impression around the school. That would help him weed out the student or students that would help him accomplish his goals.

When Artemis walked into the seventh grade wing, he scanned the hallway for his homeroom classroom. Schworer, 7-E. He entered. "Give them our BEST impression. You know what I mean." Butler nodded.

Artemis took a deep breath. Time to show these imbeciles who Artemis Fowl II was.

**-linebreak-**

Amy was sitting at her desk in Mrs. Schworer's homeroom. A boy she didn't recognize walked in. He was good looking by her standards, but her standards were kind of different from most girls.

He had gelled back, raven hair and deep blue eyes. He was average height and was wearing a custom made suit. He looked kind of familiar… You know, he looked like her favorite book character… How interesting. Standing behind him was a huge man, over six feet definitely. He had a shaved head. He seemed familiar too.

Schworer spoke up. "This is our new student, Artemis Fowl II. He has come all the way from Ireland! This is his father, Mr. Fowl." Amy paled. Oh no oh no oh no. It couldn't be. They'd be in so much trouble. It could just be a coincidence, but it would be a rather big one. "You can sit next to…" There was one empty seat in the classroom. "Amy."

The boy strode to his new seat in the back of the room. "Hello," he said. He stuck out his hand. "What is your name?"

"A-amy, sir."

"Please to make your acquaintance." He looked her up and down. "Why is such a respectable girl like you wearing something like that?"

This was going better than expected. "Jeans and a T-shirt, sir? Everyone wears them because they're comfortable."

"I can see that. You are no different than the rest of them. An unintelligent rebel to the world. And you stutter. You are weak, girl. You have no backbone. You will amount to nothing in this world." That was more of what she was expecting. She teared up anyway.

"Why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you?"

"I don't hate you. You do not amount enough to be hated. You are no worthy opponent of mine." This was who she thought it was after all. This place is in huge trouble. 

**-linebreak-**

Homeroom ended quickly. Artemis went to his first class, Core Writing with Miss Michael. She was a young teacher, fresh out of college. She should be easy to break, thought Artemis. Artemis was seated next to a kid named Jimmy. An immature child, Jimmie found farts the most funny thing in the world. He was known for being a jerk, yet he had more girlfriends than he could remember.

Artemis frowned in disdain. "Who are you?" asked Jimmy. He was in Artemis's homeroom, but he was too busy looking up Veronica's skirt to hear Schworer's announcement.

"Artemis Fowl II. And you are?" Artemis asked.

"Jimmy Herbert. What girls do you think are hot here? Did you have a girlfriend before you came here? You'll have the girls all over you. They love new guys."

"I believe that pursuing a love life so early will do nothing but lead to unneeded broken hearts. You, sir, are a revolting pervert. I do not wish to associate myself with the likes of you."

"Cool it man. What's your problem? Who got your pantyhose in a twist?"

"You are obviously an unintelligent lifeform. Unicellular, I would believe. Now, of you would ever so kindly leave me alone, I will go back to plotting your demise."

"Nobody calls me unicellular. Wait, what does unicellular mean? And what about demise?"

"You are obviously more thick skulled than I originally thought. You are not worth my time. Please leave me alone, or you will see what happens when someone gets me mad." Artemis turned away.

Miss Michael was teaching a lesson about possession. "Now, who can tell me the possessive form of dog?"

She called on Artemis. "D-O-G-'-S. Now, madam, may I please get a pass to the library? You can teach me nothing."

"Oh, I doubt that, sweetie."

Artemis spewed into a long lecture about the origin of English and how it was derived from Latin. "Now may I leave? Oh, and I believe that you, Miss Johnson, should put on some more school appropriate clothing.

Lea Johnson was wearing a low cut shirt and short shorts to impress her boyfriend. She blushed and ran out of the classroom. The bell rang. "Oh, too bad. I guess I will have to wait until tomorrow."

It went on like this for the entire day. By lunchtime, Artemis had scared all of the students that had been in any of his classes. They sat in small groups at lunch tables, whispering softly to each other.

Artemis made his way to the back of the lunchroom where he could see all the other tables. The lone kid sitting at the table picked up all of his stuff and scrambled to a different table. Artemis quickly absorbed who was sitting with whom. He had, of course, already memorized every child that was present that day. This information would be helpful in his plan.

However, after lunch, Artemis's cold began to take a hold of him. He began to feel absolutely terrible. He didn't really show it, but he was feeling it.

When minicourse came, Artemis had a hard time concentrating on the test. Afterwards, he chose minicourses with the enrichment teacher. After that, the day was over.

When Butler came to pick Artemis up, he knew something was wrong. He knew Artemis better than anyone. "What's wrong, sir?"

"Just feeling under the weather. I need to go home and rest." Artemis let out the hacking cough he had been holding in for hours.

"I hope you feel better," said Butler apologetically. 'Juliet won't bother you. She's at a friends' house. Already popular."

"Good for her. Now I am excited to go home and sleep." Artemis's head began to bob, and he fell asleep.

Man, he really must be ill if he's taking a nap, thought Butler. I should be very careful to notice how he is…

**A/N: Minicourses are like electives that you take for part of the year. Next chapter will have Helen and her sick day and her dark secrets revealed. Ok, bye then. (Sorry, I'm really awkward feeling tonight.**


	6. Chapter 6: Helen's Past

**A/N: Hey! This was a really fast update, huh? I have had this idea for a while now and needed to get it on paper (hypothetically) before I lost my train of thought. This chapter is where the T rating makes sense. The next chapter will be about the rest of her sick day. **

**I know that this is dark and angsty. This is the only part of this story that is. Most of it is more lighthearted. **

**Disclaimer: I OWN ARTEMIS FOWL! IN MY HEAD! Outside of that, he's Colfer's.**

**Chapter 6: Helen's Past **

Helen awoke to a nearly empty house. Her mother and step-father had already left for work. Her half-brother had gone to daycare and her step-sister had gone to school. She was alone in her house except for her triplet, Julius.

Helen wandered to his room to see him. "May I come in?" she asked.

"Sure," croaked Julius from behind the closed door. Helen opened it. Her brother, looking frail and pale, lay in his bed. Man, does he look sick. But he can't die, he just can't.

"Hey," said Helen. "How are you?"

"Tired, sick," said Julius. "I just want to get this over with. Let the inevitable happen. It hurts so badly." Helen just about burst into tears. It was terrible to see her natural born leader of a brother like this. Giving up.

"Don't talk like that!" Helen exclaimed. "You will get better. You will."

"Coral didn't. She had the same thing that I have right now, and now she's dead! Now leave me alone!"

"I know what happened to our sister. But you can't talk like that! Just because she died doesn't mean you will1"

"There's no cure. They don't even know what's wrong with me! Leave me alone!"

Helen stormed out of the room, down the hallway, and into Coral's old room. She grabbed one of Coral's first scrapbooks. The first picture showed the three triplets at the park, playing tag. The next showed them at an amusement park riding the carousel. The third was a picture of Coral and their dad. Dad, thought Helen.

This was all too much. She had to. Her brother was dying. Her sister was dead. Her dad was dead. She ran downstairs. Into the kitchen she went. She grabbed a steak knife off the counter.

She was on the ground. The knife was slicing her wrists, giving her a small cut along each slice. She felt a small relief that got greater with each cut.

Eventually she stopped, tears shining on her face, blood shining on her wrists and arms. No one knew she did this. Coral had known after she had walked in on Helen once, right after their dad had died three years ago. 

Coral made her promise to stop. She did. She was feeling better. Then Coral got sick. She felt the urge to cut once again. She resisted. Until Coral died a year ago. Ever since, all hell had been let loose.

Everyone at school thought her life was perfect, thought she was perfect. They didn't know what she did.

Her dad wasn't able to live with them. He would be in serious trouble if his people knew about his family. He was a cop; he should have been enforcing the rules, not breaking them. His job got him killed when his perp got loose. Two months before that, Helen's mother had gotten mad at him and had a hot one night stand with another man. She regretted it and told her husband about it. He forgave her.

After he was dead, she found out that she was pregnant. She married the father of her new child a month later. She began to drink heavily. She hit Helen and Julius, but never her step-daughter Lilly.

Dan Fish, Helen's stepfather, was a vile man. He was the reason Helen lost her virginity at the age of ten. She hated him as much as anyone could hate anyone. What Dan hadn't known was that Helen had just gotten her monthly gift for the first time.

Many complications arose, and Helen got an abortion at the age of ten. Her mother never knew.

When Helen was twelve, Coral got ill. The doctors said that it seemed as if her cells were fighting one another. As if two different species had a child. She fought for a year, but she died. Now, a year later, Julius was sick. And Helen didn't know what to do.

**A/N: What did you think? Please review this chapter as it is a vital part of the story that shall be taken care of later and I need to know if it is any good. **

**Does anyone have any guesses as to who Helen is? Tell me in a review!**


	7. Chapter 7: What Have I Done?

**A/N: I'm back! I was gone for so long, and I'm sorry. I really am. But it couldn't be helped. This is the first time in a while that I've had enough time to type anything more thatn three sentences in length... If you haven't heard, I've started a commentary on Artemis and my Me, the most terrible thing that lurks in the AF archive. Consider hollybuckets our own personal Jo Bell. **

**Disclaimer: Me no own Artemis Fowl. Me try to convince people that once. Me was locked in a padded room. They told me mind was sick. So I guess me no own Arty & Co.**

**Helen Short's Hose, Bloomsburg PA**

Helen stared in horror at the blood on her arms. Crap. Oh crap, she thought. I told myself that I wouldn't do this any more. No, I cannot dishonor Coral's memory…

She rushed upstairs and down the hall. "Is everything okay out there?" called Julius from his room. Helen ignored him and ran straight for the bathroom.

With the ease and speed of someone who has done something many times, Helen bandaged her arms. I really need some fresh air, she thought.

Five minutes later, Helen was riding down the road on her mountain bike. Her destination was her friend Sheila's house. Sheila was homeschooled and Helen knew for a fact that she had a day to herself since her parents were at a homeschooling convention.

When Sheila answered the door, apple in hand, she looked like she had been dying for company. "Come on in," she greeted. She gestured to a beanbag on the ground. "Wanna sit?"

Helen nodded. "So, why you not in school?" Sheila asked. Helen told her the story, minus the cutting. Yet Sheila still seemed to get it.

"Aw, don't sweat it," Sheila said. "Hang here with me." She tossed a tattered, dog-eared book at Helen. "Here's your favorite. It's been waiting for you."

Helen stared at the cover. It was a gold book, made to look somewhat like a diary. It had strange symbols all over it. Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer. Sheila was right. It WAS her favorite. A world where strange creatures lived under the ground in the earth's mantle. The hilarious, sarcastic, and often witty comments could make her laugh out loud. Oh, she wished she could be a part of that world.

**-linebreak-**

Several hours later, Helen returned home. All of her siblings were now home.

"Hey, butt-bag," Lily greeted Helen ever so graciously. "Did you know that people were moving into the Wither's old house?"

"No, I was not. When do they move in?" Helen asked, curious at who bought the fairly large estate."

"Today. Fowl, I think the name was," Lily responded. "Now leave me alone, punk."

"You started the conversation," muttered Helen. "If you didn't want to talk, then you should have kept quiet." But as usual, she was ignored.

Helen decided to go meet the new neighbors, as she obviously wasn't wanted here. She walked to the house. It was a relatively short walk, only about five minutes long.

As she approached the bright red door, she admired the place. She had always loved the house and was glad that someone had moved in and the beautiful property wasn't neglected.

She had only to knock one time on the door before a huge man opened it. Way over six feet tall, the man had a freshly saved head. "My I help you?" asked the man in a gruff voice.

Helen could only stare. The man reminded her of someone. Did she know him somehow? No, that was impossible.

After standing there staring for a long time, she finally spoke up. "I am here to welcome you into the neighborhood," she said.

"Well, I am sorry, but my son is sick. You cannot come in."

"But…" Helen's protest petered out pretty quickly.

"No need for you to be sick as well." The man wasn't moving. That much was easy to see.

"Who's at the door?" a voice from inside the house said. The owner to the voice appeared, a pretty blond girl. She looked familiar as well. Where DO I know these people?

"A visitor. She can't come in as your brother is sick," the man said, putting a slight stress on the word brother.

"That doesn't mean you have to be rude about it," the blond responded. "If he won't let you in, then I'll come out." Juliet walked outside and shut the door in the huge man's face.

"I'm Juliet Fowl. Who are you?" Juliet asked, starting a conversation.

"Helen Short. I live down the road and heard that we had new neighbors, so I came down to meet you guys."

"Well, that was nice of you. Want to go to the mall?"

"Why not? I'll just text my mom."

"Alright then." Juliet opened the house door. "Dad, I'm taking my new friend shopping!" she shouted into the house. She slammed the door shut and pulled the Bentley keys from her pocket. "Let's go for a ride," Juliet said. Helen grinned. She really liked this girl.

**-linebreak-**

"A girl was just here," Butler said as he entered Artemis's room, waking him from a light slumber.

"Was she now? What did she want?" Artemis asked, only slightly interested.

"She wanted to welcome us to the neighborhood," Butler replied. "I told her to go away, told her that you were sick."

"Well, it wouldn't be a lie," Artemis croaked. "I do no believe that I shall attend school tomorrow. My fever has risen. Anyway, did the girl leave?"

"Yes, she did," Butler said, his worry for Artemis not quite reveled on his face. "But not how I wanted her to. Juliet took her to the mall."

"She's making friends already, the social butterfly. She had better not get too attached to anyone. We won't be here that long, and I probably will end up using them. Now, if you would excuse me, I think I shall go to bed now."

Butler nodded. "Goodnight, Artemis. Feel better." Before he even finished speaking, Artemis was out like a light. Butler smiled at the worry-free face of the boy, no stress wrinkles crossing his face for the moment. He backed away slowly, closing the door softly behind him, leaving Artemis to sleep in peace.

**A/N: So, any good? Sorry for the super long wait! I get out of school on Friday so updates will be quicker while school's out!**

**Please review! :) l**

** V Right there!**


	8. Chapter 8: Julius

**A/N: Sorry I've been away so long, my summer has been nonstop. And I'm afraid it won't slow down anytime soon. However, I'll try to be better. Anyone read TLG yet? I felt the ending was incomplete, but that didn't stop me from crying my eyes out. Anyway, PLEASE review. I love reviews. I can't improve if I'm not told how I can! **

**Disclaimer: TLG would have ended differently if I owned Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 8: Julius

**Kellersville Strip Mall**

Helen sat nervously in the Bentley. She realized that she had gotten into the car with a girl that she had only met moments ago. Her instincts, however, told her that it would be okay. She still had the strange feeling that she knew her from somewhere.

Two hours later, Helen had completely forgotten her earlier worries. She'd bought a new purse, flats, and a cute sundress, all on sale. Juliet had gotten two new blouses, a belt, and a skirt. They'd both gotten five tubes of lip gloss since it was only fifty cents per tube.

They stopped in at the pizza place, the most popular hangout spot for kids in the entire mall, yet Helen saw none of her friends. Figured, most of their parents actually cared about what they did on a Tuesday night.

They ordered themselves sodas (which just happened to cost $1.50, a dollar more than the lip gloss. Go figure).

"I had a great time," said Helen. "I'm glad I stopped by. I was kind of in a funk."

"I did too," answered Juliet. "We need to do it again sometime."

"Most definitely. I'm glad you moved here."

Juliet sighed. "I don't know how long I'll be here for."

"Does your dad's job require you to move a lot?" Helen asked.

"Something like that," Juliet said. "Who's the cute blond boy over there?"

Helen realized that she'd changed the subject rather fast, but she let the matter drop. "Ryan Hallager. He's really sweet and funny."

"Yeah, but how old?" Juliet's point was now clear.

"Tenth grader. Go for it," Helen laughed, swatting Juliet with the napkin she was holding.

"Sweet. Just my age. I'll be right back." She left the table and began to talk earnestly with Ryan. Helen rolled her eyes.

Ten minutes later, Juliet came over, a smile gracing both her eyes and her mouth. "Got myself a date Friday night at the bowling alley."

"High five, girl!" said Helen. "Now I really need to get home, so we should be going."

"Sounds good to me," Juliet replied with a shrug. "I'm getting After arriving home ftired anyway."

* * *

><p>After arriving home, all the recognition she got was a grunt from her stepsister and a much too hard slap on the back from her stepfather. "Leave me alone," she grumbled.<p>

She snuck into Julius's room. He was awake, on his laptop as she had expected. She managed to see that he was on a medical website before he slammed the laptop closed. "What do you want? Are you here to yell at me again?"

"No, I'm sorry about before. I shouldn't have blown up on you like that. I have to remember that you are the one who's sick, and you are the one who is suffering the most. I hope your suffering ends soon, but in the form of you getting better, not, you know…" Helen tried to explain why she had lost it before, but nothing she said could make it right.

"I know why you did what you did. Just, let's not talk about it, okay? So, what did you do today?" Julius seemed eager to get back on good terms.

Helen told Julius the story about her day. She was in her element here; she loved telling stories more than anything else. Julius was a good listener; he always had been. He sympathized at the right parts and laughed in all the right places. The only part she left out, of course, was her earlier meltdown where she lost control and hurt herself.

Julius hung on her every word. He missed the world that wasn't his house and the hospital. And while she left out the part about cutting herself, she thought he knew anyway. Who knows, maybe Coral had told him, secrets weren't usually kept between the three as they had been the best of friends.

Julius also found the description of Juliet eerily familiar, though he said he couldn't place a finger on it.

"I'm going to let you rest now, okay?" Helen said, unable to keep the concern from creeping into her voice.

"Okay," he said, but he looked rather distant and thoughtful, and Helen couldn't see much rest happening in there.

Helen went back downstairs to watch TV before getting ready for school, which she WAS going to, no matter what her mother said.

After an argument with Lily over what to watch, Helen had five minutes of peace before Dan came in. "Turn that off, he snarled. "Go to your room. Your mother and I need to talk and we don't want nosy little kids listening in."

"Why doesn't Lily have to leave?" Helen asked, not letting that monster of a man get the better of her.

"GET OUT!" roared Dan, and even Helen knew better than to protest. She sulked to her room, wondering what they possibly need to talk about alone so badly.

Helen decided to sit at the top of the stairs and listen in, her room was right there so she could duck in if needed.

She heard voices, hushed, but rising in sound rapidly as they grew more upset. Finally, a hollow slap filled the house. Helen could here nothing over her heavy breathing. What had happened?

"Enough!" her mother cried. "Get out of my house! Take that brat Lily with you. You will not hurt my family any more!" And then she began to sob. "You said you loved me. You never did. Just leave."

She heard a rustling, and then heard the door slam, shaking the whole house. She ran to Julius's room, ready to tell him what had happened.

After the story had ended, Julius cracked a smile. "He's gone," he croaked. "Don't worry about him hurting you ever again."

"Do you think that's what the argument was about? About what happened to me?"

"I would think so," Julius replied, "what with all that commotion? What else would make them both that mad?"

"I guess you're right. But how did they find out, is what I'd like to know." Helen said. A look of confusion crossed her face that matched how she felt inside.

"You've got me," Julius said with a shrug. "But the fact that she hasn't found out all ready is rather surprising, if you think about it. I mean really, that isn't something that can be hidden forever."

"You do have a point," Helen said. "I won't ask her about it tonight. We can talk tomorrow after school."

"You can't avoid it forever. No matter what she has done in the past, she IS your mother, and she DOES love you," Julius said

"I know, Julius, I know. I'll talk to her tomorrow, I promise. Now I need to get to bed. Good night, bro."

"Night sis," Julius said, and he fell asleep almost instantly. Wow, thought Helen. He was tired out after such a short conversation. He's getting worse. Oh please, Lord, she prayed, let him be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Wow. It's been a long time. And this chapter is insanely short. Like, I've never written such a short chapter. But don't worry, I've already started the next one and I should have it up by next week at least. And it's plenty longer. This chapter was needed just to get a few things taken care of, and that made it hard to write. Add that to writer's block and being emotionally and physically drained... Yeah. You'd bee drained too, I guarantee it.**

**Disclaimer: Look. If I owned Artemis Fowl... That isn't even possible. I was 2 when he was created. Because a 2-year old can totally think up something so complex.**

* * *

><p><em>Beep beep beep.<em>

"Ugh... It's too early to get up."

_Beep beep beep_.

"Come on, just five more minutes?"

_Beep beep beep._

"Fine. I'll get up." Helen sighed as she hit the button on her alarm clock. She wasn't used to getting up at five in the morning. She stretched and stood. "Happy now?" she asked her alarm clock.

Twenty-five minutes later, Helen emerged downstairs. She tiptoed through the kitchen. The house was completely silent. She grabbed a bagel and snuck outside.

Should I walk to the bus stop and wait there for and hour and a half? Or should I ride my bike to school? Is it too far? She ended up grabbing her bike. She couldn't risk being there when her mom woke up. She wanted to put off the upcoming conversation as long as possible.

Out of sympathy for her mom, she ran inside. She scrawled a quick note saying she had left early for school to work on a project.

* * *

><p>When Helen pedaled up to the school, the first buses were just arriving. She walked inside the building to her locker. Students were milling around as usual, but something seemed a little... Off.<p>

Students were whipping their heads around, as if looking for someone. A main focal point seemed to be one of the lockers that weren't being used. Strange, thought Helen.

Minutes before the first bell, Amy arrived. "Oh Helen, you're here! Oh, I need to tell you something!"  
>"Calm down! Get unpacked and tell me when you're done," Helen said. I wonder what has her so worked up, she thought. But she would have to wait until lunchtime, because at that moment, first bell rang.<p>

In homeroom, Mrs. Schworer scanned the classroom. "One absent," she muttered. The new kid's absent? Thought Helen. That stinks, I was hoping to meet him.

The other students, however, seemed happy that the new student wasn't there. As the day went on, she got the same reaction.

Finally, lunchtime came. "What's everyone's problem with the new kid?" Helen asked Amy at lunch, ignoring the waving Cory. He didn't seem all that appealing anymore, thought Helen.

"You'll understand if I but tell you his name," said Amy.

"Okay..." said Helen. She took a sip of milk.

"Artemis Fowl the Second." Milk spewed all over the table.

"WHAT?" Oh god... This can't be good. "What does he look like?" Helen asked urgently.

"Black hair, blue eyes, wearing a suit," answered Amy."It's him."

* * *

><p>The rest of the day passed by in a daze. Artemis Fowl went to her school. Her new neighbors were Artemis, Butler, and Juliet Butler. That's where she knew them from!<p>

She walked into the house, oblivious to everything but her starstruck thoughts. "Helen!" shouted her mother. "Oh, Helen, why didn't you tell me? I can't believe he would do that to you and you wouldn't tell me!" Crap. Before I can do anything else, I need to talk to Mom, thought Helen. She felt comforting arms around her. Maybe I should have told her...

"I'm sorry, Mom," said Helen. And for once, she truly meant it. She could share this burden with her mom. And so she told her everything. And Helen felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off her chest.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, was it any good? Do you want to yell at me for taking so long AND giving you such a short chapter? I thought so. Well, you can only do that if you REVIEW.**


	10. Chapter 10: They Finally Meet

**A/N: Hey! It's me, back from the dead! How many readers did I lose, I wonder, during my hiatius type thingy. I could spout excuses for you, but that isn't what you want to read. The point is, I'm back, and I hope to stay back. Well, finally, the chapter you've all been waiting for. Artemis and Helen actually meet! Please, read and review!**

**Disclaimer: After reading this story, does it really seem like I wrote Artemis Fowl? Yeah right.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 10: They Finally Meet<p>

Central County Middle School

Helen ran into school. When she reached her hallway, she let her eyes scan the crowd of people, looking for one specific person. She ignored the waves of her friends and the smile from Cory.

There! There he was, impeccably dressed in an Armani suit. His black hair and bright, piercing blue eyes stood out against his deathly pale skin.

She made her way over to him. When he saw her, his eyes widened briefly, then returned to normal.

"I do not believe that we have met," said Artemis, his voice cool. It sent shivers down Helen's spine. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Artemis Fowl II." When he said that, all of her suspicions that this was some sort of prank disappeared. "And you are?"

"Helen Short," said Helen. Yet again, there was that swift widening of his eyes, almost impossible to notice.

"Pleased to meet you, Miss Short," Artemis said, offering her a hand. Helen took it, shaking his hand. His skin was ice-cold.

"I believe I'm your new neighbor," Helen said. "Juliet is your sister, correct?" She held her breath, waiting to see his reaction.

"Correct," said Artemis without hesitation. "Well, I should get to homeroom. We can talk later."

"Bye," said Helen, staring after him. Geez, she thought. He was so... Formal. Helen knew that was just how Artemis was, but... He hardly seemed human.

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><p>Artemis decided to go to school on Wednesday, even though he still felt slightly ill. When he arrived at school and was at his locker, he was approached by a girl.<p>

Holly! He thought at first, his eyes widening, but after a second glance, he knew that to be false. The wasn't Holly, just someone who looked incredibly like her. She was a little taller than Holly was, and her hair was longer and wavy. Her eyes weren't full of hatred at the sight of him, and her ears were slightly less pointed. But other than that... Same skin tone, same eye color, same hair color, pretty in the same, pointy way. It was pretty close.

Artemis recovered quickly. "I do not believe we have met," he said. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Artemis Fowl II." The girl's jaw dropped slightly, and she stared at him. She seemed to shake whatever her problem was off fast. "And you are?" he asked the girl, eager to move on.

"Helen Short." Artemis never thought he could be so shook up by something as simple as someone stating their name. The world swam in and out of focus for a second. Short? Helen SHORT? he thought.

"Pleased to meet you, Miss Short," said Artemis, offering her his hand. Helen took it. Her skin felt flaming hot on his own. It was as if she was made of fire. She began to shake first, squeezing his hand a little harder than he thought was necessary. He pulled away, his fingers aching slightly.

"I believe I'm your new neighbor," she said. "Juliet is your sister, correct?" She watched him, as if waiting for him to screw up.

"Correct," Artemis said automatically, the answer falling from his lips as if it were true. This girl must've been the one Butler had mentioned Monday, Artemis thought.

"Well, I should go to homeroom. We can talk later," said Artemis awkwardly. He hadn't been quite sure how to end the conversation, a first for him. This girl made him slightly uncomfortable, as if there was something right beyond his reach, something about her that would make sense if he could just think of what it was.

"Bye," said Helen as he walked away.

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><p>At lunchtime, Artemis made his way to the lone table at the far end of the cafeteria. It was empty, as he had expected. Yet just a few minutes later, Helen made her way toward his table. She sat and smiled at him. "Hi!"<p>

"I'm sitting by myself on purpose, you know," he told her.

"I figured as much," she said. "I sat here to bug you."

Artemis sighed. "Sit here if you want."

Helen grinned. "So, what do you think of the United States? Not as beautiful as Ireland, I'm sure."

"Ireland has more history. The United States is nice, but it is nothing compared to Ireland." Artemis wasn't sure why he had responded, why he indulged her in conversation, but he did.

Many students were staring at Helen, most likely wondering why she was sitting with him. Artemis wondered that as well. What could she possibly want with him? Her eyes kept scanning him, focusing on his eyes, hair, and suit.

"What of the Irish legend of fairies?" Helen asked him, snapping him back to reality. "Is there any truth to them?" The topic hit close to home. Most of the time, Artemis would have thought nothing of it. But the way Helen reminded him of Holly added to the way she was staring at him...

"Legends are typically based off of facts, just with the truth stretched over time. These "legends" can hardly be called legends, as there is hardly any truth to them," Artemis said, not letting his composure slip.

"Hmmm," said Helen. "Good to know." Her eyes flickered over to meet his. "So, I hear you got into Enrichment. I'm in it too!"

"Are you now?" he asked, slightly intrigued. "And what do you do in Enrichment? Who else is in it?'

Helen pointed around the cafeteria. "There's Maddie, Elizabeth, Gina, Lindsey, Luke, Ty, Carl, and Cole." Cole? Thought Artemis, not recognizing the name. Helen was pointing at a shaggy haired, blond kid with dark brown eyes across the room. "Cole used to scare me, but now we're friends. Everyone thinks we're more than that though."

"We do all sorts of stuff to "enrich" our brains because the regular classes aren't enough of a challenge for us. You'll like it a lot, I think." Artemis was still looking at Cole and the cold way he was looking around the room. Hm, he thought. He could be of help to me.

Helen chatted on, but Artemis didn't pay her words much attention. He studied her face instead. She was searching for something, he could tell. Finally, her one question brought him back to reality. "Have you heard news on your father yet?"

"Excuse me?" Artemis wasn't sure how to react to this question. Sure, it was big news that his father had disappeared, but he hadn't expected young teenagers to have heard of it, and he was certain he hadn't mentioned it. "My father? He's at home. Why do you ask?"

"I don't mean him. You know who I mean. The _real _Artemis Fowl I. The one who was on the _Fowl Star _when it sank in the Bay of Kola."

Artemis decided to stick to his story. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Helen would not be deterred, and pressed on. "Don't lie to me. I know that he was on that ship."

Finally, Artemis had to ask. "How would you know? Most children our age don't follow the news."

Helen seemed to hesitate. "My dad was a police officer," she said finally. "H-he liked to update us on current events, especially ones like that one, one that involved a crime of some sort." Artemis couldn't tell if she was telling the truth or not, but one thing she said intrigued him.

"Was a police officer?" Artemis asked. "What is he currently?"

"He's dead," Helen said bluntly. "Killed by someone he arrested on the way to the prison."

"I'm sorry," said Artemis. He knew what it was like to lose a parent.

"It's fine," grunted Helen, pain in her eyes. "Forget I even told you about it. So, if your father was on that ship, then who's posing as Artemis Sr?"

"A friend of the family," Artemis said, not truly lying. He hadn't anticipated this... A girl who knew of him. He would have to investigate further. There was something about her...


	11. Chapter 11: The Enrichment Room

**A/N: Well, after a month of waiting (sorry!), you have the next chapter. Does this chapter have anything to do with the plot? Besides one thing, no, not really. I didn't really know what to put here, so I wrote an (OOC I'm sure) chapter that has Artemis in the Enrichment room, seeing how weird everyone is. I don't know if every Enrichment classroom is this weird, but mine sure is! I know a lot of this is really weird and won't make too much sense to most people. Oh well. At least it's pretty long! ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl (Eoin Colfer), the asdf movies (Tom Ska), Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling), and anything else I might mention that I can't remember right now. If you've heard of it before, it isn't mine.**

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><p>Artemis entered the Enrichment room a little warily. This was the one thing he didn't know how to expect. If Artemis knew of what happened in that room, he would have surely run out right then and there.<p>

All of the students were seated in a circle. Just sitting there, not doing anything. 'Well, this is odd,' though Artemis. 'Most kids this age are too hyperactive to sit like that for any period of time.'

Finally, Helen crawled out of the circle. "Fine, I'll go first. You win, Cole." The shaggy haired kid Artemis had seen at lunch smirked at her. She began crawling around the circle and tapping people's heads. "Koala," she said each time.

Artemis cleared his throat. Everyone looked up at him. "May I ask what in the world you are doing?" Everyone began to laugh.

"We're playing Koala, Koala, Panda," said the girl named Gina. She was dressed all in black and purple as always. Her bangs, dyed red, hung into her face. "It's our version of Duck, Duck, Goose."

"Well then," said Artemis, not quite sure what to say. 'What did I just walk in to?' he thought.

"You've met everyone except for Cole, I think," Helen said, breaking the awkward silence that had begun to form.

Artemis walked over to Cole. "Hello. My name is Artemis Fowl II." He extended his hand. Cole stared at it and began to laugh.

"Really? You want me to shake your hand?" He shook his head. Artemis dropped his hand.

Another awkward silence began to develop, until Maddie screamed "Parachutes!" Everyone began to laugh except for Artemis, who allowed his confusion to show on his face. 'They laugh a lot,' he thought. 'And about the strangest things, too.'

"I fail to see the humor in the word 'parachutes.' What's so funny about a device that can save your life?" Artemis said, looking at everyone in the room in turn.

"Dude, just watch Pearl Harbor," Luke said. Luke wore glasses, a baseball cap, and a shirt with a person doing a strange dance on the front.. 'Your typical teenage hipster wannabe,' though Artemis.

"Alright then," said Artemis. Obviously, there was a lot that he had to learn about these people.

Everyone began to have their own little conversations. Artemis just stood there until Cole walked over. "Has anyone told you anything about me yet?" he asked.

"Not in particular," Artemis said, wondering where this was going.

"Well, for starters, the boots I'm wearing are good for crushing skulls," Cole said, a small smirk on his face.

'Did I hear that right? Did this boy just tell me that his shoes were good for crushing skulls? What in the world?' Artemis thought.

"I also like to kill puppies and kittens on the weekend," continued Cole.

Helen overheard them talking. "Knock it off, Cole," she said. "I thought you were done with that kind of stuff. You know, the "I-have-no-friends-so-I'm-going-to-be-super-creepy-to-scare-everyone-away" stuff." She turned to Artemis. "Don't mind him; we've all heard him say that at one point or another."

Cole smiled at her and said, "I am done with it. You guys broke me; I can't even be like that for five minutes now when I was for two years before!" He began to wiggle his eyebrows at her, which made her giggle hysterically.

"There isn't anything even funny about that when anyone else does it, but when you do it, you crack me up!" Helen said, still laughing.

Everyone stared at the two, until Luke finally asked, "Are you sure you don't like her, Cole?"

"NO!" both of them said, too quickly. They both began to blush.

"We're just friends," he said. Everyone rolled their eyes. Even Artemis was tempted to. Obviously there was a crush of some sort here, even if neither of them cared to acknowledge it. "I mean, c'mon, what kinda girl would like this?" He gestured to his skinny body and then to his shaggy hair.

Finally, the teacher walked in. "Okay, everybody, sit down." Everyone sat around a long table towards the side of one room. The eleven of them stared at Mr. Larnes.

"What are we doing today?" Lindsey asked. From what Artemis had gathered, Lindsey was about the nicest person that had ever existed. She wouldn't hurt a fly (quite literally).

"First, we need to record today's info on the hurricane tracking chart," Mr. Larnes said. "Ty, Carl, you do that."

"We're going to play Pictionary today." Everyone except Artemis cheered. 'Pictionary? Really? I thought that this was supposed to be a class where we actually do things to make us smarter?'

Everyone caught Artemis' skeptical look. "Oh come one, don't tell me we got ourselves one of these," Cole said, scowling. "Please tell me you know what this means: I like trains."

"If I am to take this literally, it means that you like trains. However, I have the feeling that I am not supposed to take this seriously," Artemis said.

"YouTube deprived," Cole said seriously. "I'm done with this guy. Take him away."

Mr. Larnres rolled his eyes. "Oh come on," he said. "You have to at least give him a chance."

"Fine," Cole muttered, and then bit his thumb in Artemis' direction. 'He just 'flipped me off' as most teens say it, but in the medieval way. Why in the world would he know that?' Artemis thought, a bit stunned.

"We went to the Renaissance Fair last year," said Elizabeth, speaking to him for the first time. She was small but muscular. Almost everything she was wearing was in some way related to Harry Potter.

"My dad would have loved to see us all dressed up in costumes and stuff," Helen said sadly. Luke put an arm around her.

"It's okay," he said. Cole glared at Luke, and then put his arm around her shoulder too.

"I know it hurts," Cole said finally. "But… Die, potato!"

"Not today," Helen said, smiling. Artemis realized right then who Helen might be.

"What was your father's name?" he asked.

Cole glared at him. "The point was to take he mind off her dad, dumbass."

"No, it's okay," said Helen. "Roger. His name was Roger." 'Time to talk to Holly,' Artemis thought as the game began.

The group soon got bored of Pictionary and began playing charades with the Pictionary cards. That was more interesting. It involved Cole hanging himself with the cord of a glue gun for the "noose" card, pointing at Cole and Helen for the "love" card, and Maddie running around the room in an extremely hyper state just because she could.

Artemis was stunned by how weird these people were. But he was also stunned at how they weren't afraid to be themselves. They had none of the self-consciousness that most teenagers had. They were themselves, and they didn't care who saw.

'Maybe,' thought Artemis, 'these are the people who can help me. They may be weird, but they're smart and not afraid to be themselves. That puts them higher on my list than any others."

The hour passed quickly. Even if Artemis didn't like the kids in Enrichment (but then again, what kids did he like?), it was a much more interesting than any other classes.

Finally, Mr. Larnes ended the class with a call of "Eat the cows, eat the pigs, eat the chickens, eat 'em all!" to which everyone else except for him chanted "MEAT!"

'What have I gotten myself into?' he thought. 'Are all Americans this weird?'

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><p><strong>AN: Well, that was weird! xD Oh well. It was rather fun to write, even if it made no sense. Review? You can ask me any question you want about what happened in this chapter...**


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